So, here is my short story and then we will get on with a few Rameses B tunes to relax your minds after last week's crashing stuff.
*ahem* (This is a fun little story that I did not write, btw; in fact it was given right to me by BlazeHeart. I'm pretty sure ThisIsSirius had a hand in writing this because... well, because.)
Richard the Aligasser
He defies the nature of his people and changes his reputation. Oh wait, no he doesn’t
into a vat of toxic waste and was forgotten. When Richardo was for school his parents just let him go and didn’t buy him any supplies. He walked into the classroom completely unprepared but he managed to stay quiet and not scream randomly. He was made fun of for his dull scent. He went home and said “Mom, all the other kids smell!!” She laughed and walked away. Richardo then went to the toxic vat and climbed in in the faint hope that his aroma would then change. No such luck awaited him after climbing out. He did find the manuscripts. He read them and ran off onto his adventure. (Bears are AMAZING animals! Why, I don’t know. Did you know that a bear ate Richard’s little brother?)
He only go about half-way to the city when an old man found him. “Well! Look what I found!” he chuckled. Then the crusty old man pointed a gun at Richard’s face. But before he could shoot, a little boy came running out of the house. “ GRANDPEEE! DON’T SHOOT ‘EM! HE’S MY FRIEND!” Well, the old man did not happen to be the boys grandpa, so he died of a heart attack on the spot.
Before Richard knew it, The young boy had tied a rope around his neck. “COME ON DINOSAUR!” Richard screeched in horror and flew away on his magical blimp he had packed just in case. But the blimp wouldn’t go down. It kept going up. So Richard decided to be a really stupid alligasser and bit it. It blew up in his face and he fell to the Earth. (Well, he soon regretted that decision. Whoops. Fact: Oranges don’t really walk alligators. STEALING IS AGAINST THE LAW!!)
Oooweeowppooglyyme that hurt. But when Richard woke up, he saw a beautiful sight: [insert picture of a sunset here] (This picture was taken in Australia. Not really. Ha.)
But then, a wildebeest farted and it all melted into dust. Oh well. Said Richard.Then he decided he wanted to be an antelope.“They can fly as high as they want, and can do ANYTHING!” Sadly, I think Richard was thinking of an unicorn. But that didn’t stop him from drowning himself. Unfortunately, these were not very safe waters, and a shark ate him. However…He was still alive!!!!!!! (Come to McDonald’s today to eat the most unhealthy meal of your day and shave 5 years off of your life! )
Stay tuned for Chapter Two: Cherry Hamster Toilets and Barack Obama
(just kidding I was never given anything from chapter two except the title page)
...Okay, here's your music. Take a nap or something.
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